To be loved

Love can be abstract or concrete. It can be the act of snuggling, saying the words “I love you, ” or not saying the words but knowing they’re felt. It’s about showing up, comforting people, or allowing them to help us.

But even when we have loving relationships, we can get so familiar with them that we forget to notice. Allow for some enchantment and fondness. What’s small can still matter.

2. To be understood

When people’s opinions of us clash with how we want to be seen, we feel alienated and isolated. But to be understood by others, we must first understand ourselves.

Think of your signature or a birthmark. Those are uniquely yours; knowing this will also allow you to understand others.

Never stop thinking about what it means to be you. It’s a lifelong pursuit.

3. To have power

There are times when the desire for power is beautiful and life-enhancing. But when our longing for power is an attempt to compensate for a lifelong deficit, we can zigzag between swelling visions of glory and crashing despair.

Embrace flexibility and moderation. Power isn’t about control over others but about authenticity and authority. Stepping into your power can be your way of claiming adulthood and taking responsibility for your choices.

4. To have (and give) attention

“I haven’t looked into my children’s eyes for a very long time,” I read once. “I’ve been so angry at life that I forgot to notice this beautiful creature I created.”

Concentrate on an activity, topic, or a person and “really” pay attention to all the details.

5. To have freedom

For a teenager, freedom might mean not having a curfew. For an adult, it might mean setting your work hours.

Ask yourself what kind of freedom you want. The liberty we pursued when we were 20 isn’t necessarily the same one available at 60. Adjust the terms and conditions of your commitments, it’s okay!

6. To create

If you insist, you can have creative moments every day by observing and being curious.

Express yourself imperfectly. Change your point of view about an issue. Take in something new and let out something personal. Experience something fresh daily.

7. To belong

At times, you might feel alienated and at odds. But if you can feel comfortable being all you are, you can experience not belonging more easily, even with delight at times.

It’s about being secure in all you are, even the awkward, clumsy, oddball moments — especially those! If you’re trying to fit in, you will miss out on truly belonging.

8. To win

Really?

Consider what “winning” means to you. The definition changes, and the rules vary. Honor your successes, however small.

9. To connect

If you’re carrying trauma, shame, or a source of pain, it takes courage to open up and be vulnerable with someone. But when you feel safe and comfortable, revealing something private can bring you to a place of acceptance.

We form connections by creating trust and opening ourselves up; yet knowing to whom and when is the key, right?

And don’t ever forget that God called us his masterpiece. In case you have forgotten, here’s the scripture:

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