5/30/20

So again, this week it happened!   A black man is blatantly murdered.  A video captures the senseless eight-minute act as a White police officer’s knee apparently suffocates him to death.  The endless pandemic has taken a back seat and heads are shaking, arms are raised, and again, I ask, Why God? Or should I even be questioning?  Should I just accept things as they arise? Let divine order take precedence? It doesn’t make sense.

There are times when I don’t even want to turn on the computer, nor the news because it seems as if it’s one senseless act after another.  The state of affairs in the world is devastating! The state of our Union is deteriorating and our President is being blamed for everything; yet still, I try to keep a positive attitude.   I am not a woman of color.  Or am I? I read the demeaning-yet-cathartic posts on social media, I hear the comments on the television as one person spins the story; then another and another. Am I being too naïve to understand their plight? Yes, I’m aware of history and all their suffering; but I’m writing to you today God as an invisible woman who loves ALL people. Didn’t you already lead us out Egypt and into the land of milk and honey?

Didn’t you already send your son to die on that cruel, mean wooden cross to atone for our sins? Didn’t You send Jesus to walk among us for three years to feel our pain and one ease our suffering? Didn’t you just remind me a few weeks ago that even though the Earth was nervously rotating, it would not fall off it’s axis yet?

I need answers God.  Today, just as I did then, I need answers.  “Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock,” we are reminded in Isaiah 26:4  Trust You to do what?  Allow each of us to look up to the hills from whence the help comes ? Allow for the looting to continue and the hatred to spew out to the streets even more? I was there in Los Angeles the last time this happened and did we learn anything?  What about the racist people?  What about those that don’t know you?  And what about those of us that do love you and still are tired. Can’t you just supernaturally swipe your magic wand across Earth and turn back 2020 to January 1st?

I am tired God; of all of this and the sadness I feel as I envision yet another family grieving again.  I see another man lynched beyond recognition under an oak tree again as white hoods ride away. I see some of my ancestors being scalped again as their wives and children run for cover.   I see some of the Jews being incinerated again as trains bellow.   I see the senseless acts of brutality that only You understand. I can hear Jesus’ anguish as he uttered his last words, “It is finished!” But is it?

Now answer me one question Lord.  How am I to count it all joy? This year 2020 has started so sadly. First, Kobe Bryant and his daughter were killed in that helicopter crash. I didn’t know him personally; but I loved the joy he brought me as I watched his athleticism. And his young teen daughter Gigi? What was this about? She was just starting her life. Why her? Then the COVID-19 pandemic has catapulted us into despair, anxiety, and depression. Now this senseless killing. Am I just using my logical mind and not walking with You?

Today Sadie needs answers as she begins her day. She is a positive thinker and she reveres God; but as she turned on the News this early week, she had to pinch herself to realize she is indeed not dreaming this time.

She writes in her journal:

I try not to judge, get too upset, add to the problem, condemn nor condone.  All I do is pray and try to focus on the positive if there is any in all of this. I yearn to follow the Spirit. Today, I need lucidity and discernment of spirit; and peace of mind. I will share with my newfound buddy.  Perhaps he can help me understand because you see he IS a man of color and perhaps he can shed some light on this.  Oh yes, did I mention that he also loves YOU?

Shortly after sharing her thoughts, Sadie receives a response from him: “In the midst of my struggles with the ongoing shooting of unarmed people of color and the murder of Brother Floyd, I am challenged. Your prayer request for answers awaken my spirit to allow me to be the change I want to see in this world.”

Hmmmmm, did you just speak to me Lord?

It is through prayer, it is through love, it is through allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us to Your understanding that we will perhaps make sense of it all today.