Hello my dear readers, I’ve been busy working on expanding Angels I’ve Met Along the Way. When I go to bed at night, the characters keep talking to me. They beckon me and I know that the updates are needed. I want you, the reader to enjoy and share your own experiences of angels and life. Thank you for reading it and if you are waiting for the update, you won’t be disappointed. 😉
Here is a bit of what I’m working on:
The previously untouched yellow manila folder beckons. With trembling fingers, Dr. Kelley gingerly pulls out a random page from the folder, but upon seeing the name ‘Dockery’ as her father’s name, she feels an inexplicable panic that causes her to immediately shove the paper back into the folder before she accidentally gets a glimpse of her birth mother’s maiden name. For no reason she can rationally explain, she feels as if she has wrongly spied on her parents, and she blushes with guilt. The one glance of that single name has told her so very much in one word, and it is all she can handle for tonight. At that moment, she’s not sure if she can muster up the courage to look at all the contents the next time, or whether she should refuse to look any more. Does being a dutiful daughter mean prying into a past that your birth mother has purposely kept hidden? Confused, afraid, and trembling with the excitement that only a lifetime of searching for a special newfound answer can bring, Dr. Kelley has trouble falling asleep that evening. She tosses and turns for what seems an eternity.
Sarah, working on her last session’s therapeutic homework writes in her journal.
Meeting my therapist at this stage of my life has been one of the best things that could have happened to me. I can honestly tell myself that I’ve been listened to without judgment, I’m learning to hold myself accountable for some of the choices I’ve done, and most importantly, as I see how she lives her life, it is making me want to get back to reading the Bible…something that I hadn’t done in a while. Not sure if I should be having these feelings, but she feels like family now. I admire her so much and want to be like her when I grow up….just like her. One of these days in session, I’m going to show her this journal entry since that is what therapy is for right? What’s the use of paying $80/session if you can’t vomit everything to your therapist? She is more suitable than I am to handle it right? Or is she? Does she too have consternations about life as I do? I’m sure…..
Just then, the phone startles her. Upon seeing the caller ID, she picks it up and wonders what her therapist could want on an early Tuesday morning when they just had a session yesterday afternoon. “What do you mean you can’t see me anymore, Doc!” Sarah exclaims over the phone. “Is this even ethical? That you would just call me in the middle of our therapy to tell me you are referring me out to a colleague?
Breathing laboriously, Dr. Kelley on the other line is trying to keep it together.
“Forgive me Sarah, I’m so sorry and yes, it’s legal if I have a viable reason to do so and I believe in this case it would be countertransference. It’s a complex issue but yes, this therapeutic relationship might not be in the best interest for you.” “Believe me, this is not easy for me but it has to be done.”
“But Doc, wait, wait,” she clamors, “what the hell is countertransference? Sorry for my French.” I was just working on my journal assignment you gave me, now what am I supposed to do?”
Raising her voice, she hollers “But Doc, this isn’t fair, that you are just thinking of yourself and licenses, and not my feelings….now I know why my friends told me to be careful with counselors….I had my druthers about you when you were telling me about some of your past. I remember you….”
Dr. Kelley does not let her finish and tells her she must hang up and she will be receiving therapy termination papers with the new referral in the mail.
“Good bye Sarah, God bless you always!” Numbed, she slumps down on her chair and begins to shake uncontrollably. She must breathe slowly and not panic! She can’t remember the last time she had to end a relationship in this manner. She retreats to her study and as she meditates, she recalls the scripture in Romans that reminds her that all things do work together for those who love the Lord.
Sarah in the meantime is speechless, angry, and she sits by her desk and cries. How could another person (again) abandon me? The ONE person that I thought I could trust with all my heart and soul, feelings, and truths just told me “Goodbye.” This is not fair God. Why is this happening to me now that I was just beginning to trust YOU more? You too must be a fake!
Stomping out of her room, she laces up her tennis shoes and goes out for a run. The breeze wipes away her tears and she is feeling helpless. Her air pods, as if on cue, play one of her favorite songs.