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Kneeling to pray, Dr. Kelley sends out a plea to her Father in Heaven of a type that she hasn’t prayed since she was a small child. Ever since taking on a brand-new client, she has suddenly felt an inexplicable void in her life that rematerialized out of the blue, so to speak. It is as if a hole in her chest suddenly lets in cold air.  It is a combination of ache, yearning, and feeling of not being who she appears to be and not being who she ought to be simultaneously. When she was a young girl, especially before the adoption of her little brother Mike, she would say the same prayer. Though many decades passed, she still remembers that sense of knowing and loss like it was yesterday. She is seeking to finally be fulfilled by gaining the answer to the greatest mystery in her life, no matter the risks, heartaches, or the ultimate truth. It’s a gap in her life that she longs to satisfy as she recites the words of her girlhood prayer from heart: “Dear God, Abba Father in Heaven, thank you for hearing my plea. There is a great treasure that I have lost, and I am a diamond waiting to be found. Please help us to find one another and to fill the treasure chest finally. This hole in my soul needs to be relieved! I know that all things are blessed and planned by you, Lord, and that there is a reason for every one of our journeys. If I am on the right track and going in the right direction, please show me a sign. In Jesus name I pray, amen.” Dr. Kelley firmly believes in not playing “Bible roulette” to receive her answers from above. Many years ago, she remembers hearing a pastor talk of the dangers of placing your prayers in the fickle hands of fate by closing one’s eyes, making a fervent wish, opening a Bible without looking, and placing a finger on scripture to see what it says as a divine answer to prayer. She still recalls the story the pastor told, both a feeling of horror and mirth, as he shared the tale of a congregation member who came to him quite distraught in the early days of his ministry. Seeking to play Bible roulette, the parishioner had sent a heartfelt request to God in prayer, then opened his Bible and randomly placed his finger on a page to derive an answer from the verse that appeared. To his shock, the scripture was Matthew 27:5, “So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.” Shocked and frightened by the verse that chance had selected for him, which he fervently hoped was not the answer to his prayer, he desperately performed another act of Bible roulette again. This time, his hapless finger landed upon a portion of a verse in Luke 10:37, “Jesus told him, ‘Go and do likewise.’” Not long after that unpleasant surprise, the man, shaking and white as a sheet, turned up on the pastor’s doorstep. Yes, Dr. Kelley had learned an important lesson from that man’s foibles; however, she still believed in signs even though never in her life had she received a sign concerning the subject of this prayer. Fortunately, on that warm and windless morning, without moving a finger, the pages on her open Bible began to turn from an invisible source (which she later discovered was her air conditioner that the thermostat had just happened to activate at that moment). Generally, when her A/C unit clicked in, it ran for at least 15 minutes, but not today. Almost as soon as the pages in her Bible started flipping one past another, the A/C turned off, but not before blowing the ribbon of her bookmark so that it pointed to a particular verse found in Hebrews 13:2, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Dr. Kelley pondered this sign in her heart. What could this verse mean, and what does it have to do with whom I seek? *** At that exact same moment, a young lady approximately 12 miles away, also kneels in prayer. Sarah is a vivacious young woman who comes with strong family ties. She knows what it is like to support and be supported. Her entire existence, she has been enveloped in the unshakeable love of her parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, and nieces, yet despite the overwhelming adoration among them, there is a gap that has never been filled. Although she has known her fair share of lovers and suitors, she knows deep in her heart that something/someone is missing. But unlike a certain doctor, whom coincidence has decreed she was now meeting, Sarah knows exactly what she is searching for. It is the “finding” that is the problem. Though Sarah doesn’t pray often enough, which she fully well knows, on her knees this morning she feels an unexplainable urgency to utter a prayer like one that she hasn’t said in a long time. She turns down the stereo playing one of her favorite songs, “Diamond” by Rihanna. “My dear Lord, it’s Sarah here, and although I want to thank you for all the love and support that you’ve given me in full measure, please forgive me if it seems selfish of me to ask for something more. You know my heart and you know for whom I long. Please answer my prayer and bring us together soon if it is your will. It has been so long, Lord, and I do not know how far apart our paths have taken us, but for some reason, at this moment, I feel closer than ever. If it be your will, please show me a sign that what was lost is about to be found. I humbly ask this in your name, my Lord and Savior. Amen.” At that moment, Sarah’s black cat, a part-Siamese named Chiquita, suddenly darts from her pillow across her dresser and comes to a skidding halt on her Bible, sending up a small cloud of dust, since it hasn’t been opened in some time. Lifting the naughty girl from the Good Book, she glances at the verse that has been hidden by her right front paw, and which she has been reluctant to lift from the page. It is a verse from the New Testament. It is from Hebrews 13:2 to be exact. Pondering what this scripture could mean, she glances at her clock and realizes that she had better prepare for her counseling session. She is a new client with a lot of past baggage from former relationships, and taking her minister’s advice, she has started meeting with an amazing lady named Dr. Kelley, and in an hour is about to have a session with her for the second time. She gets in her car and immediately turns on her CD player, “So shine bright, tonight, you and I. We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky. Eye to eye, so alive. We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.” As she hurries toward her appointment, she ponders, “Isn’t ‘invincible’ the meaning of the word ‘diamond’ in Ancient Greek? Once I gain a much better understanding, with the help of my new psychologist, concerning the reasons behind my past failures and broken relationships, I can be invincible, too!”

Breathlessly, she tells Dr. Kelley, “I saw it all so vividly… My childhood, my teenage years, college, my present life… the dream was surreal!

A scripture that kept popping up in my dream was ‘Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.’ I heard God whispering to me throughout the dream. I want to know what my truth is Doc; can you help me?”

She looks away as the doctor explains how dreams are quite revealing, and yes, one’s childhood and upbringing will most probably affect one’s entire life.

“But I’m content,” she continues, “even if my life hasn’t turned out with the husband and children yet. My life has been blessed with the many people who have enriched my life. I know I’m still trying to finish my studies and find my soulmate, but still, Doc, at times, I do ask myself if I’ve made the right choices with men… it’s as if the men I chose to be with were not there emotionally… or is it me?”

Sarah continues, “And, by the way Doc, what should one legitimately expect from a partner, and what does one have no logical right to expect?”

“Wow Sarah, this is a loaded question and one that is too early for me to answer. As we continue with this therapeutic relationship and I get to know you at a deeper level, we will try to answer this together okay?”

“Totally understand Doc,” she sheepishly responds, “then tell me, why do so many women judge their self-worth on having a current relationship or on what their friends think about the relationship they are having with a man?”

“Hmmmmm, this is more of a societal destructive belief that was passed down to many women from their grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and even older sisters. I believe we are in a paradigm shift, if you will, and you should not feel as if there is something wrong with you, if as you say, you feel you have not made the right choices with men. It appears that my generation and definitely yours has begun to debunk that destructive belief.”

She continues, “One thing I can tell you today is that it is important that you find solace for your overall mental well-being, Sarah. I have witnessed that it is those people who tell me they make time for themselves daily that are the happiest. They voice that they are okay with not having to spend every waking moment with another at the expense of their own personal space and solitude. A woman will make love to what she needs. You yourself just said that you are content, right? Well, that’s great and I am sure that you have learned to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilt.”

She pensively looks down at the floor as the doctor glances at her watch. She is quite aware of how people tend to personalize some of their partner’s faults; yet she allows this young lady to feel comfortable as the therapeutic relationship is built.

“Interesting way of looking at things, Sarah,” she responds, thinking of a phrase about children and a white picket fence in a manuscript she is currently drafting. “Perhaps as the counseling process unfolds, you can learn to trust me with all your innermost thoughts and fears, so I can help you. Have you had counseling before me, young lady?”

“No, I haven’t, but it’s something I’ve thought about in the past.”

The divine Counselor in her soul whispers a verse to her heart, which she ponders briefly just before the doctor speaks again:

“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD.

— Isaiah 54:1

***

“Did you bring the homework from our first session?” she asks as time is expiring.

“Yes, of course. Here is some of my poetry.” She hands her some pages; some handwritten, others typed.

“Hmmm, I see you chose to write creatively,” she responds. It is her common practice to give her clients several therapeutic assignments they can choose from as rapport is being built.

“I too write, and I have been working on a manuscript for a year now,” she smiles softly, “so I will definitely enjoy reading your thoughts.”

“How cool!” exclaims Sarah.

The doctor takes the pages gently, puts them in her file, and tells her she will see her at the same time next week.

Sarah grins as she leaves the room. That afternoon, she plans to work on her poetry. Sure, she has her studies to concentrate on, but she is not thinking of that now. She drives home in a lighter mood. She feels as if she is being listened to without any judgments. She turns on to Pandora and sings along to “when doves cry… ohhh… ohhh.” She exchanges waves with a stranger. She is happy.  This is how I want to feel all the time, she thinks, “why can’t I? Could it be that I’m becoming jaded like I see some people get?”

That evening, as Dr. Kelley flips through Sarah’s files, she is mesmerized by what she reads:

“You Were What?”

If I was scared about H2O… I poured it and it exploded… You were mischievous…

Curious… He was normal — but they thought he was

a grandma’s boy… he liked to think…

always a thinker…

He asks if she is devious? Mischievous? What is that, she wonders?

No date nor title on this poem, notes Dr. Kelley.

 

 

“She Is”

She’s careful of those she lets in now. She listens

more… loves more… IS more.

Raucous isn’t her frame of mind. Knowledge and quiet power thereof is.

She’s breathing, swimming amid the top.

Dark clouds have dissipated, and the full moon is rising.

She is free and happy to be her inner child again. Contemplative, happy, balanced, brooding, thumb-sucking, self-

reliant, and at times self-absorbent… still always POSITIVE.

She is ready to find self amid the bureaucracy she despises.

Today she enjoyed life… Tomorrow she will engulf it.

Where is he?

Her life is an amazing kaleidoscope of emotions… she is alive and blessed. She led a full life up to now and she’s loved as well as been loved… She’s been to that mountaintop. Some call her beautiful, eccentric, a Bohemian-at-heart, cute, selfish, doctor, teacher, friend, lover, partner, athletic, intelligent, pretty, confident, “la doctora estudiante,” the best ant (aunt) in the world.

— 30 July 2005, Washington, D.C.

 

Carefully, she makes notes on her file and puts it away as she gets ready for bed. Tomorrow is her day off, and she plans to rest and nourish her soul. As she tries to sleep, she can’t help but wonder how Sarah’s poetry reverberates some of her own. Rambling thoughts in her mind don’t allow her to relax. Should she pray? Prayer always feeds her soul; but tonight, she must write and reaching out to her laptop, her fingertips cannot keep up with her thoughts:

Does God speak to you, or is it just me? I didn’t know he was speaking to me all along until a few years ago when I realized, after a traumatic car accident, that He had spared my life. I became fearful for a while after that incident. To this day, He has held my hand during those “down” times of fear.

We are all interconnected in some way, some more than others.

How can I make a change? I want to, but I don’t know how I can do it by myself. I have tried in my lifetime and have listened to others’ stories. I am aware that once we are gone, we want our stories to be remembered. We are all storytellers. And I don’t believe we can make a change unless He touches our spirit, and until we realize He lives in us, and we go to Him in earnest communication and prayer.

The still, quiet spirit that connects Dr. Kelley and her new client Sarah, murmurs in her heart:

Call to me and I will answer you.

— Jeremiah 33:3

***

Most of my adult life — or perhaps since I can remember — I’ve been somewhat of a loner, independent and carefree! I remember my mother telling me that since I was very young, I liked being by myself. She would recall how I used to wander about even if I didn’t know the place, such as when I was a child in California, walking by the ocean, or going to the Santa Monica Beach giant Ferris wheel; or strolling around Lake Isabella; or exploring the Coachella Valley; or hiking in the San Gabriel Mountains, skiing at Big Bear Lake. Nature and solitude beckoned me. I remember Yosemite National Park and Redwood National and State Parks as being my favorite places to explore; or as a young adult taking an educational trip to Brazil. What an amazing sight as Christ the Redeemer outstretched his arms and welcomed me! Was I really there in Rio de Janeiro and that famous Ipanema Beach?  Paraguay… Uruguay, the amazing Las Cataratas del Iguazu… misting underneath those magnificent waterfalls… and hearing their thunderous roar as I got closer. Buenos Aires, Argentina; and this trip I took to Alaska, along with the white-water rafting trips to the Salmon River in Idaho and the Rogue River in Oregon; the parasailing at South Padre Island; running amid the exotic new sounds of the wild birds of the Amazon Jungle; and then up to the Hollywood sign. Did I mention sitting atop Bob Marley’s favorite rock in his hometown Nine Mile, Jamaica? I heard his truthful, reggae music bathing my soul as I paid my respects at his Mausoleum.

As I grew, I just had this amazing curiosity, and I’d sit outside my house at night and gaze at the stars. You see, I grew up in a quiet, small town where on a moonless, dark night out in the country, you could transform yourself to any celestial thing you wanted to. There was Pleiades (in Greek mythology, the seven daughters of the Titan Atlas and the Oceanid Pleione who were pursued by the hunter Orion until Zeus changed them into a cluster of stars), Aries, Pegasus, Draco, Ursa Minor and Major, Leo, Aquila in the West, Gemini, and Hercules in the Northwest. I have always loved learning:  from why a mosquito buzzes to why I am here, science, fiction, history, biographies, and nonfiction accounts. I should’ve taken a video of that caterpillar’s cocoon. With my own eyes, I saw it metamorphosing into an astonishing butterfly. It was a clear sunny day in my backyard, and as I walked to the palm tree to water it, I noticed the cocoon. I walked up to it for a closer look and — wow — the butterfly magically burst forth!  “Let me out. I’m out of here, and I must fly.” (Did I mention it was about the same time I told my ex to leave?)  I wanted no burdens. The past was just that; I was that butterfly… longing to spread my multicolored wings amidst the open winds.

Anything that I can read, grasp, and write, I will remember it and attempt to find its meaning later.

Dr. Kelley has been writing somewhat of a self-help book, yet she is apprehensive about this. She reveres God. She knows we are all interconnected, yet she doesn’t quite know how to put this together in a book. She doesn’t want to step on any toes, yet she knows that she must write. She is evolving and healing daily. One of her favorite affirmations is “I am ever evolving into a greater expression of my divine self.” She reads from one of her favorite books devoted to scripture:

God created me in the divine image, with spiritual qualities such as love, peace, and kindness. When I think, speak, and act in ways that reflect these qualities, I am fulfilling my God-given potential.

Evolution, by definition, is a gradual process of growth. I am patient if I feel I am not making progress quickly enough. Even when I perceive that I am moving backward, I am evolving. Like an arrow that draws back before propelling forward, all the mistakes I make and setbacks that I experience are pushing me forward. I learn from my experiences and consciously participate in my own evolution. I am ever evolving into a greater expression of my divine self. (Daily Word, Evolve, March 21, 2017)

A voice beyond all earthly realms of evolution intones in her ear:

But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

— Ephesians 4:15

***

Dr. Kelley turns back to writing her book:

My last Alaskan trip was an amazing journey of self-discovery (again). On my last leg flying toward my destination, I met this wonderful man who listened to my story of how anxious I felt, being that I had just had LASIK surgery. No, it wasn’t needed, or looking back now, years later, perhaps it was. I had elected to have it, so I could read without reading glasses. I did not weigh options. I did not ask a lot of questions (nor did they explain how it would be). I just had the surgery, and two weeks later, I was to meet my sister and brother-in-law in Seattle on our way to our Alaskan cruise.

Mother Nature intervened, and I missed the cruise ship. I felt so alone.

As I took plane after plane, I felt nauseous, nervous, and helpless.   I remember being blinded momentarily by the sun’s glare, as I got up to board the last plane to Juneau when I noticed him looking at me (or did I notice him first?) We struck up a conversation in line, and I asked why he was going to Alaska. 

He nonchalantly said, “I’m going on my third 2,400-mile kayak trip down the Bering Sea.”

And I’m nervous and scared, I thought. We continued to chat, and right before we went to our separate seats, I asked how he dealt with those lonely nights out in the uncharted wilderness (I was asking him about myself). He looked deeply into my eyes and said, “I remember the scriptures and how God promises us we’re never alone…”

It wasn’t until I was strapped in my seat and staring out at the clouds that it dawned on me that this man had been a gift from Heaven, a reminder from up high. (Could he have been my angel that day?) I carefully put his information in my wallet as the engines serenaded my nap.

The memories of the Bering Sea and the snowcapped mountains are forever etched in my soul and often I go back to them and smile in wonderment.

As I got back home to Texas after my cruise, I got a package in the mail. “Ray really wanted you to read his book,” his wife wrote, “if you want to order more all the proceeds go to the children of Nepal.” All I could do was smile and thank the Lord above. I knew about kindred spirits and that I would come back stronger after this trip, but I didn’t think I’d hear directly from Heaven. Or had I?

That was not the end of my interconnectedness during this trip. As I flew back after a week of amazing discoveries in Alaska, tasting the crisp air, gazing enchantingly at the northern star, and fully enveloping all that is Alaska, I sat with a young man (about twenty-seven) who seemed willing to chat. He shared his story of having just come back from a physical therapist conference in Chicago and how he was honing his craft to better himself and help his family.

I shared my stories about Alaska. He was young, handsome, and already with a doctorate in his field. We continued chatting, and to both our amazement, he was my aunt’s physical therapist.

“What? My aunt who lives in Roma?”

I will never forget his words as we boarded off the plane. “You captivate me,” he said. “You are intriguing. It so easy talking with you.  Had we met before? Are you a teacher or a writer?”

I smiled. I knew I had to finally put down into words what I have been told all along. “You have a gift. You should continue writing. Just do it. You seem mysterious, yet sincere and open; you have something to offer. Publish those poems you have. Share your wisdom.” Yes, we are all connected somehow and the only way to get through it is together!

She falls asleep. The computer doesn’t.

Sarah comes in to her scheduled appointment.  She was apprehensive initially even though she knew how much therapy would help her get some things off her mind and solve the mysteries of her feelings of dissatisfaction that have plagued her most of her early 20’s. Being that she is a millennial with many modern choices at her fingertips, she considered using the Talkspace online counseling service, due to her busy doctoral student schedule. Several of her friends are using Talkspace, and they rave about how easy it is to text your therapist anytime. However, despite her love of technical conveniences, her sisters finally talked her into choosing face-to-face counseling instead. She especially likes her freedom to talk without interruptions, nor judgments, and then there’s the fact that she can also glimpse at her therapist’s reactions as they speak, which sometimes speaks volumes without words.

As Dr. Kelley is getting her file ready, Sarah asks, “I’ve been thinking about what you said in our first session about both of us discussing what to expect from a partner realistically. I’ve been in love, as you know, and sometimes I am confused if it’s chemistry or true love, or whether true love must be forged? One of my besties is currently in a wonderful relationship, and although I wish the best for her, at times I am jealous of that bond. That’s when I ask myself, ‘Why can’t I have that, and I even wonder if I want it?’ Yes, it can be quite confusing at times.”

“I’ve been pondering something about love that maybe you can answer by this question. Do you believe in coincidences, Doc? To be more specific, should we just let go of what is expected and allow for the natural to flow? Or should we wait until the former, so the latter can take over?”

“Tell me more, Ms. Sarah. What do you mean by ‘should we wait until the former, so the latter can take over?’”

“Well,” responds Sarah, shaking her head, trying to make sense of her own epiphany, “you know, should we just let go of other people’s expectations about the one we love, or should we just love those people that we feel we are connected to?”

Sarah continues, “I mean, I have met some guys who I find myself instantly attracted to, but then I find out they are either married, in a relationship, or something like those situations, and my heart must be restrained. Should I just go for it and follow those feelings even if they are bad for the other woman involved?”

“Hmmm, that is an interesting question Sarah, since we do have to exercise some self-control in those matters; but we are all interlocked somehow and relationships are paramount,” Dr. Kelley goes on to explain. “As I sit and listen to people and observe human behavior, unexpected spiritual connections do materialize from time to time, Sarah. Sometimes we don’t realize the depth of what is being said at a moment, but if two people are being completely open in their communications, deep insights into each other usually flows full circle. I believe the same can be said about love. I know of people who meet, date for three weeks, and marry happily for a lifetime. Others meet, date for two years, and get married only to divorce each other six months later. So, there’s really no right or wrong answer Sarah, but there are right and wrong choices, especially in those circumstances you just mentioned. Thank you for asking, and rest assured that you will get more answers to these questions as the counseling process unfolds. I promise,” Dr. Kelley smiles.

“Do say more about yourself, Doc,” requests Sarah. “If you don’t mind, please tell me a bit about your childhood. I just want to know who you were back then to better understand who you are right now.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Dr. Kelley responds, but not knowing her patient well enough yet, she is careful not to divulge too much.

“Let me share a snippet of my own life,” she continues. Dr. Kelley begins to share how she was blessed with an amazing childhood, but that somehow, she always felt that something was missing, despite having been raised with a younger brother.

“My brother and I were raised by wonderful parents who adored each other. They did everything together, and it wasn’t uncommon that we would see them dancing together in the kitchen, laughing at each other’s jokes, cooking side-by-side, Mom picking on Dad for silly things (which he never seemed to mind and rather liked), working as a team in the yard, and even going to church together, for the most part. Still, I sensed that “something” was missing. I know that we mustn’t always go with our feelings, but I kind of wanted to have sisters to hang out with, you know, and the feeling was so strong, I couldn’t help but to think that I must have some sisters out there somewhere that I don’t even know about.”

 As Dr. Kelley speaks to Sarah, she feels a nervous twinge in her stomach. Is that a twinkle she sees in her eyes? Why is this new patient, Sarah, so interested in my childhood, and why do I feel unusually comfortable sharing with her my secret childhood yearnings so early in our therapeutic relationship? This is a first, Dr. Kelley thinks.

The sessions continue contentedly for both doctor and patient, and despite it having only been a few sessions thus far, Sarah is at ease in feeling as if her inner child within is being listened to by a wise adult who cares. Sarah is quite intuitive, and she is proving to be a quick learner in her psychology graduate classes. One of her favorite lessons this past week was on the “Inner Child” that we all possess. She learned that in this world, people are constantly having to individually adjust to the changing world. But what about the origin of our souls?

What about the child that was there long before we grew up? Where does “it” stay? Why did “it” have to stop climbing that mountain? Why did “it” have to stop splashing in puddles when the rain comes and smother itself in that gooey mud?  Why did “it” have to stop riding the merry-go-round and the seesaw? Why must “it” sit along the curb while others run towards the rainbow?  Why must “it” cry when others around “it” are laughing?

 She remembers beginning a poem about that epiphany:

 

“Myself?”

It’s waiting to come out… go ahead… love it… rescue it… as you rescue it, YOU RESCUE YOURSELF… Go ahead and be kind and gentle to her.

She breathes your air, feels your thoughts, sees your world,

And senses your desires.

Go ahead… pamper her, hold her, rock her to sleep… As you love her… she embraces you KCAB!

 

In deep contemplation, Sarah drifts off for a second, until the alarm startles her. She realizes she did not hear the last few minutes of the conversation. Why did her mind wander off so effortlessly?

 Sarah is reminded by Dr. Kelley to keep bringing her poetry to the sessions and specially to write in her journal during the week and bring in those writings for discussion as needed.

“Sure Doc, I will. You know how much I love to write, but sometimes when I’m going through tough times, writing it again kinda makes me relive it and it’s a downer for me; plus, scary and I get anxious!”

“I understand, yet it’s during those times of chaos or uncertainty that we must write, Sarah, in order to learn the lessons that we don’t want to repeat. Importantly, our deepest desires usually surface during our anguish, confusion, or other emotional traumas, and as you mentioned in one of the journal entries you shared, we must allow childlike simplicity to shine light into the darkest corners of our soul, right?”

“Yes ma’am, we must. I promise I will do my best to listen to my child within,” she smiles, leaving the office hurriedly, but not before thanking her for listening.

Her online class will start in one hour, and in a marvelous and mysterious way, which is beyond coincidence, she has been instructed to report to her psychology professor what her child within taught her this week.

Things are beginning to make sense to Sarah as she drives home. “If someone who is a doctor sees life a bit as I do, hmmmm, then I guess I’m okay.” She smiles with a smile that attracts a peace beyond all understanding and evokes Psalm 4:4 as whispers from above remind her to “…Commune with your own heart and be still.”

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