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(Photo taken by author as she left the gym one early evening in June 2020)

3/15/20

As Sadie cooks today after having thoroughly saged her home, a splatter of a spice (perhaps a seed from the bell pepper (in the form of a red heart) lands on her white tee shirt.  Yes, right in the area where her heart beats below.  As she gazes out the window, two white doves appear on the fence as the music and the birds chirping remind her that she is alive and well.  She is currently, like many people worldwide facing much uncertainty.    Too many to enumerate; and it seems that most people are petrified and terrorized by this virus that is named COVID-19. 

She will not let panic set in her heart because she truly believes that God spoke to her this morning as she meditated on the Word.   Instead, she enjoys her noodles and sautéed vegetables and after lunch writes in her journal:

I don’t believe in my lifetime that this has affected us in this manner.  There are no live sports on television: March Madness, The Masters, NBA, Tennis to name just a few… things that I have enjoyed all of my life.  What? I won’t be able to just “veggie out” and enjoy my Sunday?  What’s gonna happen with my competitive nature? Will I have to now devour more of the books I’ve enjoyed? Write more? Workout more?  But what if I can’t go to the gym daily as is my custom? What if? What if?

This last week has been surreal to say the least.  Yes, I watch the News to keep up with what is happening; but after 10 minutes, the anxiety sets in and I have to turn off the television.  I’ve never been a t.v. junkie so all I’ve ever truly enjoyed is sports and some of my recorded favorite shows; but even then, these I watch only at night, an hour before bedtime to unwind.  So what am I to do?

What if I can’t just stop and pick up some yogurt, a Lotto ticket, or an eyeliner at CVS? How about my usual chicken taco at Angelina’s Tacos? Or a Snickers bar at Valero? What about my chiropractic alignment or my allergy shots? What’s gonna happen then? Social distancing? What is that; aren’t we already there?

Ahh all of this is just bunk! I’m not going to go dark; but what if?

And as if on cue, she reaches out to glance through The Way of Perfection, a book written by St. Teresa of Avila over 400 years ago.

 “Let us now come to the detachment which we must practice, for if this is carried out perfectly it includes everything else.  I say ‘it includes everything else’ because, if we care nothing for any created things, but the embrace the Creator alone, His Majesty will infuse the virtues into us in such a way that, provided we labour to the best of our abilities day by day, we shall not have to wage war much longer, for the Lord will take our defence in hand against the devils and against the whole world….but it remains for us to become detached from our own selves and it is a hard thing to withdraw from ourselves and oppose ourselves, because we are very close to ourselves and love ourselves very dearly.”  

She then goes on to remind us that where there is prayer and charity among us, God will hear us; but we must let go of our indulgences and not complain.  “Why, then do we shrink from interior mortification, since this is the means by which every other kind of mortification may become much more meritorious and perfect, so that it can be practiced with greater tranquility and ease? This, as I have said, is acquired by gradual progress and by never indulging our own will and desire, even in small things, until we have succeeded in subduing the body to the spirit….as I have said, you are very careful about your prayer, you will soon find yourselves reaching the summit of the mountain without knowing how If a humble soul is tempted in this way by the devil that virtue cannot fail to bring her more fortitude and greater profit. For clearly the temptation will cause her to look into her life….This human nature of ours is so wretchedly weak that, even while we are telling ourselves that there is nothing for us to make a fuss about, we imagine we are doing something virtuous, and begin to feel sorry for ourselves, particularly when we see that other people are sorry for us too.  In this way the soul begins to lose the occasions of merit which it had gained; it becomes weaker; and thus a door is opened to the devil by which he can enter on some other occasion with a temptation worse than the last.

A nap beckons her and that is what she will do.  She had been preparing for the possibility of going totally virtual with her Practice but now due to the current worldwide pandemic, she will just let the nap guide her.   She enjoys them more lately since it is as she sleeps that she converses with Jesus in heaven. 

Fast forward to Easter Sunday, and feeling free and relaxed, she will focus on the dreams that have reassured her that things will be okay.  AS she ponders on God’s plan, she writes:

“You can’t tell me this is not His plan? All of us are staying at home across the world.  I just got off the phone with Quinn and he is just as astonished.    The streets of Cork, usually strewn with visitors at St. Colman’s Cathedral or at the Titanic Museum are empty.  The parks here in the States, usually speckled with families’ barbequing, sunbathing, etc. etc. are empty as well.  RV’s getting ready to traverse the states are locked and parked for the summer. Baseball fans sipping on their drinks and cheering for their teams are at home watching Michael Jordan’s “The Last Dance” on television. Olympic athletes putting their last-minute touches on their training are at home like the rest of us. 

It might appear as if life has thrown us a curve, but God didn’t bring us this far to leave us.  This virus’ poison won’t kill us…God’s anti-venom is ours to use.

What are you going to do today?  Will you be able to pass this test and like Moses make a bronzed snake his problem and then turn it into a solution? Scripture reminds us, “What the enemy meant for harm, God used it for our good.” It was in Genesis when Joseph told his brothers this, remember? Like Paul, you won’t die as he too got bit by that venomous snake. 

The snake represents evil doesn’t it? Doesn’t the COVID-19 virus represent the same?  At times, we have to take evil by its ugly head and face it! Let’s not look at our circumstances, look up child!  The healing, promotion, and right people you have been waiting for are coming.  Today is Easter Sunday and as quiet as it is around the world, Jesus sits on the throne and he is resurrected.   He is no longer shedding a tear towards Jerusalem. 

Don’t be amazed as the women who stumbled upon the angel that day when they went looking for Jesus in his tomb. Just look up as the angel told Mary Magdalene and the other Mary that Jesus had risen.

We must keep thanking God.  2000 years ago, the enemy came against Jesus but he only had one chance and he thought when he has crucified…he had won! Well, when Jesus was crucified, on the 3rd day, his Father God resurrected him.  To this day, he continues to intercede for us. You can’t tell me that this entire pandemic: social distancing, financial situation, loss of lives (as hard as it is to accept) isn’t God’s plan all along?   Perhaps just as a child is disciplined by his parent, today God is “grounding” us at home?  Not as in discipline; but by keeping us in the present moment.  Being MINDFUL of each other, our loved ones, that inner connection that many of us have lost as we have been running a million miles an hour.

Writing has always helped Sadie clear her mind and she remembers how it was way before this whole situation blew over, and she had decided to just work out at home even though the gyms weren’t closed.   Hopping on the treadmill that Thursday afternoon, she had a premonition that things were about to change forever as she knew it.  She had been at the gym the day before and the news were already beginning to broadcast how this virus could spread; yet it was nothing as it is today. That day, she was on the stepper doing her usual when a lady next to her coughed.  It was just a simple cough and Sadie automatically got off the stepper and hopped on another one far away.

Now 4 weeks later, the numbers are indeed devastating and there is no telling how this world will change and her daily routines will be different. Still as she does her daily meditation and spends time alone with God, she is reminded:

When I remember all of the people I have known and the experiences I have had, I see how divine order has been at work, even if it did not seem like it at the time. Looking back, I see how I have used divine intelligence to make choices that have helped direct my life. As I let go and begin to trust more completely in divine intelligence expressing as me, I begin to understand the perfection with which my life has unfolded. As I recognize that everything is already in divine order, I can release myself into God’s perfect flow and relax. I offer no resistance to the flow of harmony and goodness. My life is in divine order. I open my eyes to see it now.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28

That day she had woken up early (6 a.m. to be exact) and she had a reoccurring thought: Under the northern star and east of Eden, lives a magnificent miracle worker, ready for anybody needing guidance, direction, love, solace, freedom from anxiety or depression, a hug where there is none, a reassuring shoulder to lean on, a smile, a pat on the back, a deep breath to take.  A place so luxuriously beautiful and bright that it blinded even some astronauts who first noticed it. 

Was it really the thunder that woke her up that morning, or was it again the dreams that at times surprise her and other times, plague her?  Yesterday, in a dream, she saw her nephew, mother, and father together at a banquet and all seemed happy.  Approaching him, Sadie began to cry uncontrollably and told him how she never lost faith that he would be found.  All seemed so content in her childhood home.  What were those other young teenagers (all dressed up in their prom best doing there?)

Sadie is positive that Jesus will again speak to her in the night season. Aren’t we reminded in Genesis 41: 25 that it is God that speaks to us? Didn’t Joseph tell Pharaoh that God would reveal to him what to do?

 “The dreams of Pharaoh are one and the same. God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do.”

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