Blog

Heading home this afternoon, Sadie remembers the call from yesterday in which she was momentarily startled.   She always knew that he would call one day.  “Psychic, are you?” She could see his smile as she told him this fact. She too had been thinking of him the last few nights and couldn’t quite figure out why; but God knew.  Doesn’t he always?

The following morning, she has a lighter feeling and there is something in her soul that tells her that things are about to change in in a wonderful way, as she glances at the Jesus portrait in which He is exposing his heart and blessing her.  Yesterday was a momentous day.  She was in the office and got a Facebook notification that Greg had posted on her page.  The person whom she thought would be her life partner; yet unfortunately, the person whom she had to disappoint by ending their relationship.  “You broke my heart,” he texted her that day from Atlanta.  For many years after that, she felt remorse and condemnation for the way she ended things.  

He posted, “You were on my mind,” and for an amazingly strange reason that only love reveals, Dr. Sadie was flustered and she became excited, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. He had taken time to adorn it with seductive yes, lips, and hearts about it.  She knew in her heart that his heart was reaching out to hers again. That can only be love.  There is no other way to describe it. It can only be love. Throughout the day, as she worked with her clients, she was mindful of this but as she focuses on them, she forgets about her personal issues, her life and she did what she does best which is counsel them…give them hope and the peace of mind that we all desire.  She meditated with some, she laughed with others…she was transparent and real! As one of her clients left, he said, “Thank you Doc, you are the best!” Again, her heart skipped a beat.

After the office, she prayed in front of her small shrine at home, clamoring “Lord give me a sign that I’m on the right track, that this situation with Greg is not just an attack of the enemy…a distraction…my life is peaceful right now and I don’t want anything that is not from you.” 

She left to the gym in a lighter note and as she was getting on the treadmill, Greg calls, hmmmm after almost 7 or 8 years.  The conversation flowed just as it had back when they first met about 24 years earlier.  They laughed, they rambled, sidestepping each other’s conversations, and their frequencies connected again.  They reminisced, said their sorrys, and their spirits were back in sync! She tried to tell him why she felt so badly for breaking it off then; but he didn’t let her. “That was then, let it go.  We have the now,” he reminded her. (He always has a way of putting things in a different perspective doesn’t he,” she thought.) 

He was at the Las Vegas airport waiting for his connecting flight to San Diego where his grown son lives.  Apparently, he is helping him with his personal training business and producing music again.  You see, Greg is an artist, a musician, a writer, (a dreamer?) and he confided in her that he had been in an unfulfilled relationship and subsequent marriage since their breakup.  “Unfortunately,” he said,” “my marriage isn’t working and I’m getting a divorce! I tried for 4 years..we even went to counseling; but we are just different people..we are…and we both agreed that we would be better off friends.” Sadie just listened, but why did she already know this? Was it because when she ended things he told her that he was losing perhaps the best woman he would ever find? 

Finishing her second cup of coffee, she writes in her journal:

Thank you father God for this renewed friendship; but at the same time, I’m going to give it all to you like I always have.  You direct my steps, direct this relationship that began many years ago.  I thank you for my peace, my happiness, and all of my relationships.  I am aware that they are our spiritual practice and I intend to continue learning from mine.  I am aware that there are three ways of living: through reality, through imagination, and through another person.  I want to live through all three: but mostly through YOU.  Thank you for reminding me today that “the words I say to you, I do not speak onmy own; but the Father who dwells in me does his work.” –John 14:10.

I’m healed and I see a shift in my horizons, in my sunsets and in my sunrises.  I see a transference in my destiny. This is 2020 and everything will come full circle and I know that I know that everything comes from you.  Still God, sometimes I think I’m awake but could I be dreaming? At times, what’s real seems jumbled with what is not.  And it can stay with me all day.  The brain jams some things together and it fills the other blanks according to what? Genetic memory? A blink? A song? A call? Kind of like deja vu? Amazingly, our brain doesn’t ask us for permission…it just does. It takes us through hills and valleys, some where we have lived before; others that we are just beginning to climb.  At times, I feel as if I’m already in heaven then I abruptly wake up in my bedroom on Robin Avenue.  One thing I do know is that everything that is happening right now is there for a reason and I’m going to live it, fearlessly. Thank you in advance for stopping me when You know it’s not for me okay?

She smiles as she is reminded of A Course in Miracles’ message: “Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists, herein lies the peace of God.”

 

Comments(2)

    • Matthew L. Atterberry

    • 5 years ago

    Beautiful words of expression. Everything will come full circle in God’s perfect timing and in His infinite wisdom and mercy.

    1. Thank you Matthew for your kind words and support!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.